Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A review of a fictional 7” by Jacob Rhodes

Original written but never published piece for We Don’t Owe You A Thing #2 a fanzine about art and hardcore.

The review is part of an ongoing project Jacob has been doing about a barely fictionalized group skinheads.

BLEACH SPLATTERED BOOT BOIS "Wreath Bois of Oi-cient Times" 7” 

A-side boasts the title track loud and proud "Wrrrrrreath Bois! of Oi Oi Oi Oi Oi Oi Oi-cient Times" This is BSBB doing what they do best: Sing-a-long anthems for the sewing circle lads. You stomp your Trad boots and prick your scared thumbs to this minute and a half melody, which praises the first Hard Candys and how far the Candy Skin cult has come under their Seamsters' hammer. From bleaching our own Ball-Gaggers to weaving our own denim. You've come a long way Lads! When it ends your heart is charged and you're ready to sit down and sew your next uniform, but "Oxblood Eyes and Denim Cheeks" starts up with the old factory bell and you're out from behind your Singer and back on the dance floor. This one tells the cautionary tale of a Fresh Wrap whose uniform isn't up to standard and is soon cornered by a group of particularly vicious Candys who tongue lash him until he's out of tears and blue in the face. Next time he'll check his reflection 20 times before leaving the house for the pub: A good lesson for any Fresh Wrap!

B-side is a new direction with a minute long intro/meditation with angular guitars and experimental drums. What The Fuck! I know two of the members of BSBB are part of the original Hard Candys and they have connections with the zine this is printed in, but this borders on Hippie-Jazz Shit! To much time with their instruments in hand and not enough with a needle and thread! Finally the BOIS snap out of it and bash out a driving 4-chord chorus. Maybe this is some kind of complementary color or fabric theory. Like letting your eyes drift up the cold London fog grey of a Trads' Freddy only to find a Jamaican sunset pink double piping on the tips of the collar and sleeve. But, I don't know. I'm going back to Side A.

By Jacob Rhodes


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